i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Send help, water and tortillas.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
