shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There's even glitter on my cock...
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