Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Of course I have a pirate flag
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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