I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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