Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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