He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
