So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
