Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
