remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
