I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
