I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
