PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
