I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
