I want to stick my p in your. b.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
