garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
