i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize