There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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