just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
