My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
