i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
