Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
