u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
