oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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