there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
