There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have already put on my inside pants.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
