Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
