dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
