he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
