Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.

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(817): View more from Texas

They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

(214): View more from Texas

Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

(817): View more from Texas

You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.

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(740): View more from Ohio

she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.

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(614): View more from Ohio

The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila

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(213): View more from California

I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina

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