We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize