That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
