Michael Bay diarrhea
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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