"it" just moved
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In other news, I just burned my penis
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
