it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
