Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
