thus making me awesome and them whores
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The struggles of a small town man whore
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
