Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
