Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
