Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
