she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize