Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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