Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
