Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
