I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
