Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
