I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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