I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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