Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
high people should be assigned attendants
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
