Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
