Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
