I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
