I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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