This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
