I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
