we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
