Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
