please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Green mimosas i think yes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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