I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my being single is dangerous.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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