he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
