The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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