Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
