He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
