i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
