Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
