I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
