It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
