i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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