is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
