he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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