He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
