How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
