You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
