Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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