Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
