It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
