i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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