Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
